whirlwind.

Today has been quite... uh interesting to say the least. C here by the way. Once again without T. I'm starting to feel that this blog has had one member drop outta the race. Kinda funny considering the events of today.
I feel strange. Have you ever had the feeling where you want so badly to cry... you try and make yourself do it, but you just can't? I've never been able to understand why this is SUCH a hard thing to do. Like for instance all the times i've gotten pulled over for speeding and i try to think of the saddest things in that 7 seconds it takes the cop to walk to your door, but i've never been able to muster up a single tear when i try to tell him that i'm sincerely sorry for speeding. BUT today i've realized why this whole this is.

YOU CAN'T MAKE YOURSELF CRY WHEN YOU ARE NOT TRULY SORRY.

i've never been sorry for speeding. Yeah maybe sorry that i got pulled over instead of the idiot driving one mile an hour slower than me in the lane to the right.
Just like tonight. I tried making myself cry. I tried making myself sad. it just wasn't happening, and it's because from the note things got left on I was not truly sorry.

Funny how our mind isn't stupid, and can tell true things from the false ones that we try to make ourselves believe.

xoxo (even though i don't feel it today)
C